E is for Elephants

I:So its day 5 of the challenge, and the letter is E. I need to think of something.
Me: Dude if you think thinking of a topic starting with a letter was tough. Akhil started every sentence of his with the same letter in Don’t Die Driver. That’s hardcore man!!!
I: Yeah yeah Akhil is awesome, and cool and stuff. Lets get back to me.

Me: How about Eoin Morgan?
I: You know Eoin is actually pronounced Oin.
Me: Yeah, weird right. But he is a good cricketer. Too bad England can’t find a place for him in their test side.
I: Yup sad tale all around. But No, I have decided no cricket, no video games and no wrestling in this challenge.
Me: Ok so that means no Eoin, no Everquest and no Ezkiel Jackson.
I: Who the hell is Ezkiel Jackson?
Me: You know big bald African American dude, former intercontinental champion and all.
I:I have been watching wrestling for 14 years and even I don’t know him.
Me: You do. I am you remember. That guy in the red tights. Was a part of the CORE. Wade and him had a rivalry.
I: Yeah Yeah. They were setting him up as the next John Cena. Wonder what happened there.
Me:Had a weak ass finisher, that’s what happened. And he couldn’t hold the mic, if his life depended on it.

I:Hey how about the Empire State Building.
Me:Why?
I:Well, it was once the tallest building in the world.
Me:But it’s not now.
I:But it was the first.
Me:Really, so what you are saying is that before Empire State Building, there was no tallest building.
I:I….
Me:Exactly, you know why you want to write about Empire State Building.
I:Why?
Me:Because you watch too much How I Met Your Mother for your own good.
I:I thought we had a deal. You don’t bitch about HIMYM and I don’t say anything about Big Bang Theory. How about Empire Strikes Back? Cult Classic and all.
Me:Dude, it was a cult classic in America. It was made before you knew what movies were, you watched it and didn’t really like it, but kept up the impression, so nerds on online forums won’t troll you.
I:I never got why such a big strong dangerous machine like Death Star, had a vent that lead right to its core.
Me:Dude, that was ‘A New Hope’.
I:Whatever.

I:How about Everton.
Me:Ever..what…
I:Everton…a football club in England. Plays in the English Premier League.
Me:Have they ever won anything? Do they have a famous player on their side? Do you know where Everton is?
I:No, No and no.
Me:So no. Remember, when writing about Football, it’s either Manchester United, or Barcelona.
I:Yeah, be the footballer you are, until you can be Messi…always be Messi.
Me:You know what else you can write about, Eva Green.
I:Yeah, that should get us some hits… Better still Eva Mendes.
Me:Ahhan…now we are talking…she looked fab in Fast And Furious 2.
I:Should dig up some info on her…and while I am at it..some pics too.
Me:You know what else you should search for Angelina Jolie.
I:Why, ahhh never mind.

Me:Hey why don’t you write about those creepy eating habits that put you off.
I:Like people who eat with their mouths open and show me exactly what a dish is made of. Naaah, too radical and thought-provoking.
Me:How about people who murder English everyday. You hate that kind… and your rage posts are really famous.
I:Come on….it’s their and not there…its don’t know and not dunno…. Ohhh I would love too… But I will save it for G….would give them a piece of my mind.

Me:I don’t know man…what are you going to write about.
I:Elephants…
Me:Why?
I:Why not. They are the largest land mammals. They are found in Asia and Africa. African ones have large ears and got a bad-ass look going for them. The Asian ones are leaner and meaner. They have a trunk for noses and weapons for teeth. That woolly mammooth from Ice Age was their grand daddy, so they know how to party. And have you ever tried fighting an Elephant. Yeah that’s what I thought, they used to call me that in school, most of them regretted it instantly. You don’t mess with an Elephant, even if you are Batman.
Me:Yeah because PETA, would sue your ass.
I:That and because Elephants are awesome.
Me:Yeah…Elephants rock…and roll and are all kinds of cool.
I:That is it then… E is for Elephants.
Me:Or it could be for….
I:Zip it.

Ladies And Gentlemen, The Elephant is In the Room