This one is for all you cheaters out there, always looking for better ways to pass an examination than just studying. I would call myself a pro now, but I was not always like this. Every superhero has an origin, every cheater has a beginning. This is mine and then some. Enjoy…
The Third Reich
|Time: Class 10||The test: Monthly Unit Test|
The Problem: History
I don’t remember when I first did it (maybe it was because I did it so many times afterwards), but by this time, I had given in to the dark side. I mean come on: History, Geography, Physics, Maths, English, Hindi, Computers, Chemistry and that abhorrent Biology (I once cheated my ass off and still failed that subject). You can’t pass those subjects until you had skills, a very particular set of skills, a set of skills that allowed you to copy from your friend’s answer sheet.
Angad had moved to another section (he had opted for commerce over science, lucky him), but I had found others; willing and able. Me and Swapnil (name changed) sat on those individual benches which were made for 1 but 2 of them slammed together to make it work for 3. 2 more of our kind (believe me we were the majority now) sat in front of us. Apparently tests were the times when students seated spaciously were justified.
The question was, “List down the Moral reasons for the start of World War 2.” I always hated these subjective answers, where I needed to write the same thing over and over in different words, so I took the easy way out and somehow acquired the answer sheet from the bench ahead.
What follows is a word by word account of how that answer read. I am telling you, you cannot make this kind of stuff up:
- Hitler was a very worse man.
- He locked people in arms and rooms.
- He army beated men and women.
- He killed people with gas. Jews also killed.
- U.S.A and U.K. didn’t like Nazi, because they cheated in war.
- No people liked Hitler.
- He had many places for beating Jewish childs.
We couldn’t read ahead. Both I and Swapnil were peeling with laughter. Imagine the situation; it is the first of many grueling tests, both difficult and stressful. The class is in pin drop silence, the invigilator is trying to play snake on his spanking new Nokia and you are trying to concentrate on your next answer. That’s when you hear a cackle of laughter. You are surprised but you let it go as a figment of your imagination. But it’s not; here is another, and another. You are not the only one hearing it either, as students turn their heads around, to see who is making this ruckus. Soon the complete class and the invigilator are staring at the two boys failing miserably at the job of suppressing their laughter.
“What’s so funny?”, asked a menacing teacher. That just made us crack up even more. We were holding onto our stomachs now. Ohh, if only we could show this to the class, this was gold dust. But we couldn’t, the teacher had got up from his seat now. We motioned for him to stop, blurting out apologies in the middle of uncontrollable giggles. I had already given the answer sheet back to the bench ahead, and had got my laugh in control (almost!). I elbowed Swapnil, and he elbowed me back. Somehow, we got back to writing our answers again, but our heads weren’t in it. They were with the very worst man in history.
No one came to know why we laughed so hard that day. We didn’t want to insult our friends who were genuinely helping us out. But it deserves a mention that they scored 8 out of 10 in that question. How many did we score? Let’s say we were in the 3-7 range.