Diary of a Playboy :: Part 1

“But I Love Angela. Isn’t it enough?”, spat out Amar as he crossed his legs and sat up on his bed.

“No dude no. This is not how it works.”, Chris replied coolly, waving his fingers in a dismissive manners. “Your love comes later, once the girl has fallen in love with you.”

“And how am I going to do that, I even haven’t been able to talk to her, since she has arrived in the college.”, Amar sighed and rested on the wall against which his bed was propped. “At this rate, she would be with that freak Salman soon, you know I saw them sitting together at a table yesterday. I am sure they were holding hands below it.”, his shoulders dropped as he thought about the deflating image of Angela and Salman together.

“First Up. There is no girl on the face of this Earth that wakes up and says: ‘God, I don’t wanna be swept off my feet today’ “

“What?”

Chris slowly turned his neck towards Amar and spoke slowly, “I have a plan.”

“Oh No.”, Amar covered his face with his hands.

“We are going to make you the man, who sweeps Angela off her feet. Each day, everyday, until she falls…”, Chris waited for a while and then completed the sentence, “…in love with you”, grinning impishly.

“How am I going to sweep her off her feet, when I can’t even say something to her.”

“Pay attention”, Chris suddenly spoke out loudly. In response the wall they shared with the next room reported a loud knock.”Sorry.”, Chris replied, and then he sat down next to Amar on his bed. “As per the latest research, a girl notices 30% of your tone, and 40% of your behavior. So 70% of your future relationship isn’t coming out of your mouth.”, Chris waited for his words to take effect. “That’s why you have to change. Change the way you walk, change the way you look. Definitely change the way you dress”

“Really, that’s the advise you have for me. I could have read that in Cosmopolitan.”, Amar spoke irritated and shirked away from Chris.

“You don’t have to change for real. Just for a few months max. You just have to show how chivalrous, flamboyant and charismatic you are until Angela falls for you. Once she is down for the count, then you can go back to being the couch potato you really are.”

“First of all, the way you talk about Angela, it feels like objectification. Secondly that lying part sounds nice.”

“Of course it does. It involves you being playing make believe. Who doesn’t like that?”, Chris smiled again, and ran his scrawny hands through his thick blonde hair. “Ok, so first thing first, does she know you?”

Amar looked dazed at that confused. Chris could see why this was going to be a challenge. “Well…I…we…kind of come from the same school.so..maybe…you  never know.”

It was Chris’s turn to bury his face inside his hands, “Oh god..”, he murmured, “Does she know you exist?”, Chris continued from his covered face.

“She once asked me where the library was.”

“Oh god..”, Chris found himself burrowing deeper into his hands.

—Scene 1: College—

Chris: Ok, walk up to her now. Remember what we practiced.

Amar: Dude, no dude. That was with you, how am I going to do it alone.

Chris: Remember I am always with you. Remember your training…I am with you in your thoughts.

[With one firm jerk Chris pushes Amar from behind the pillar to right behind Angela, he starts walking behind her]

Chris In Amar’s Mind: Call out to her.

Amar: An…Angie…I mean…Ange…

Chris In Amar’s Mind: Don’t Stammer.

Amar: Angela.

Chris In Amar’s Mind: Louder.

Amar: Angela.

[Angela turns, but so do 3-4 other people, all of them stare at the now frozen Amar]

Chris In Amar’s Mind: Not that loud.

Angela: Yes.

[For a moment Angela looked right into his eyes, and Amar felt himself melting away]

Chris In Amar’s Mind: Stand up straight.

[suddenly Amar stiffened himself into an attention]

Chris In Amar’s Mind: Loosen up a bit.

[Amar dropped his shoulders]

Chris In Amar’s Mind: Now say whatever we practiced.

Amar: MMMMMM….

[Angela frowns, turns around and starts walking away. Amar turns around and looks at Chris, who gives him a hard stare.]

[Amar runs across and taps Angela on the shoulder]

Amar: Hi Angela, its me Amar.

Chris In Amar’s Mind: stop waving your hands.

[Amar stops his furious hand waving]

Chris In Amar’s Mind: Smile.

[Amar shows off his teeth]

Chris In Amar’s Mind: No NO NO, not that one. The one we practiced back at the hostel. The grin, the grin. Never mind its too late for that. Its no backing out now.

Amar: Hi

Angela: Hi

Amar: My name is Amar.

[Amar pulls out his hands]

Chris In Amar’s Mind: Pull that hand back.

[Amar pulls it back swiftly, than notices Angela’s outstretched hand had been left hanging, she pulls it back too]

Angela: Chris’s friend right. He is my Trig class. We have met before haven’t we?

Chris In Amar’s Mind: There she does know you. Now ask her the next question.

Amar: What’s your name?

[Amar could feel Chris punching a hole in the wall]

Angela: Its Angela. you called me out. Didn’t you.

Amar: Yes of course. So stupid of me. What I wanted to know was if you had any notes on Physics.

[Angela shook her head in disinterest]

Angela: No, its not my subject. I am sorry, I am getting late. Bye.

[Smiles, waves and goes off]

[Chris pulls up behind the now exhausted Amar, and puts his hand on his shoulder]

Chris: Good job dude. What’s your name? Really…?

Amar: I was under pressure. OK.

Chris: Yeah I sensed that. Time for phase 2. Go up to her class.

Amar: Dude no.

[Chris bores a hole into Amar]

Amar: ok, ok.

[Amar runs upto the floor, where Angela’s class was supposed to be, he notices her standing outside]

Chris In Amar’s Mind: What did I tell you. Now remember look cool, confident and subtle. And please don’t seem like you are talking to a female for the first time.

Amar: Yeah I got this.[murmurs] hey Angela! Seems like you have missed your class.

[Waves, grins and speaks all the same time]

Chris In Amar’s Mind: FACEPALM!!!

Angela: Oh Hi! yeah [smiles awkwardly]. I got late and the professor wont let me in.

Amar: Sorry. Seems like my fault.

Angela: No No, its alright.

Amar: Let me make it up to you.

Angela: No no its alright.

Amar: Come on a cup of coffee can hurt.

Angela: Well there is a project I need to complete.

Amar: Well tell me all about it over a cup of coffee.

[Angela smiled]

Angela: This coming from the guy who couldn’t put together a sentence a few moments ago.

Chris In Amar’s Mind: Say something funny.

Amar: Yeah well I get nervous around Pretty girls.

Chris In Amar’s Mind: Kill me..Kill me now.

—Scene 2: Cafetaria—

Amar: So tell me about yourself. Who are you, what are you doing, your project. You know the stuff.

[Angela starts off]

Chris In Amar’s Mind: Concentrate on what she is saying. Don’t stare at her chest.

[Amar moves his eyes upwards]

Try to sound interested.

[Amar starts shaking his head in approval]

Don’t try to think how she will look naked

Amar: I wasn’t, but thanks for the image.

Chris In Amar’s Mind: Sorry that was me.

Amar: Fuck off!

Angela: ……And then I studied at St. Xaviers for a while.

Amar: Hey I studied their myself.

Angela: ohh you did…that’s awesome.

[Sitting alone on a table in a corner of the canteen]

Chris: And the rest as they say is history.

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